Thirty Days of Pain by Ginger Talbot

Author:Ginger Talbot [Talbot, Ginger]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-24T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

WILLOW

Evening of day ten…

I cry in the shower, hugging myself. I hope that he can’t see me cry in there, because I know it would just make him smile, and knowing that makes me want to scream.

My heart feels like a giant bruise, tender and painful.

I lean against the shower stall, exhausted. I know he wants me. I know he loves to have sex with me. Am I an idiot to try to break through the thick, hard shell he’s built around his heart? Is it selfish of me to want just a modicum of tenderness….to hope that he might actually someday come to care for me?

Disgusted with myself, I turn off the shower and get out. What do I expect from him? I ask myself. Love? Kindness? A relationship…with a monster? How could I possibly want that?

After I’ve dried myself off, I put on pajamas and go and sit outside on the patio outside my room. I’m lost in my thoughts, blinded to the beauty of my surroundings.

What would I do if Sergei really did come to care for me?

I try to tell myself that I’m just doing my best to establish a bond with my captor. But it’s not entirely true. When Sergei is harsh to me, it’s brutal. It’s devastating and hurts me worse than punches.

But that somehow makes his rare moments of tenderness a million times more meaningful to me. They’re like balm to my wounded soul. What would my life be like if he were like that all the time? If this cold, hard man warmed for me?

I close my eyes and start mentally listing all the things he’s done that might possibly be considered kind or caring.

He treats that little boy like a prince, and makes sure that he’s being raised by people who love him.

He filled up my room with books that I love to read.

He bought me beautiful clothing that suited me perfectly. It’s like he knew me. He knew my soul.

His lovemaking is breathtaking, astounding. His touch can be so sweet and soft. He makes me wet before he enters me. He makes me come first.

He found out what I went to school for, and he asked me what I wanted to do with my life. He told me I should live my life for myself. Nobody else has ever done that.

I am desperate for these little gestures to mean something. I don’t know why I need that validation, and I am angry with myself for my weakness. I have one mission here – survive the thirty days, and go home so I can save my cousins. Did I make a mistake in trying to reach him? I can’t tell.

I pray I didn’t. Helenka and Yuri’s lives may depend on it. It’s so frustrating. I am navigating uncharted territory here. All my life I was the good girl, keeping as safe as I could by following every rule. I was the perfect daughter, and then, when I lost that identity,

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